And the winner is ...

And the winner is ...

As reported in the Publican's Morning Advertiser  Daniel Thwaites has very generously set a "target" for all their tenants to have an "earnings floor" of £15,000 per annum.

I thought I'd do the math on that one in light of my most recent experience at the "coal face" of the British hospitality industry.

Let's start with the myriad duties the average publican has: cooking, cleaning, serving, banking, book-keeping, training, marketing, more cleaning ...


This was my daily schedule in my last tied pub:

Monday - let staff in from 8.00 am, admin 8.30 am to 12.30 pm , 12.30 pm to 1.30pm senior staff briefings and cellar checks - rest of day and evening off - lock up at 12.30 am - total hours worked = 6

Tuesday - let staff in from 8.00 am, admin 8.30 to 9.30, kitchen 10 am to 3 pm, then again 5 pm to 10 pm, bar 10.30 to 11.30 pm, locking up again at 12.30 am - hours worked = 14

Wednesday - see in delivery at 7.00 am, then follow Tuesday pattern - hours worked = 15 (oh and check wet stock order prepared by staff for Friday delivery)

Thursday - see in delivery at 7.00 am, let staff in  at 8.00 am, admin 8.30 to 9.30, food stock check and order preparation for Friday delivery 10.00 to 11.30 am, bar 12 noon to 3 pm, then again from 7 pm to 12 midnight, lock up at 1.30 am - hours worked = 14

Friday - see in deliveries at 7.00 am, let staff in at 8.00 am, admin 8.30 to 11.30 (including AWP machine collections and change order preparation and collection) bar 12 noon to 3 pm, then again 5 pm to 12 midnight, lock up at 1.30 am (if no private function - try 2.30 am if there was one) hours worked = 16-17

Saturday - let staff in at 8.00 am, admin 8.30 to 11.30 (change order preparation and collection) bar 12 noon to 3 pm, then again 5 pm to 12 midnight, lock up at 1.30 am (if no private function - try 2.30 am if there was one) hours worked = 16-17

Sunday - let staff in 8.00 am, admin 8.30 am to 9.30 am, kitchen 10 to 4pm, then again 6pm to 9pm, then off until lock up at 12.30 am hours worked = 11.5

Total hours worked = 92.5 hours per week (minimum).

Three week's unpaid holiday a year (if I could afford either the time or the money) mostly taken as long weekends and never more than 7 days at a time. (Deduct any stock shortages and staff overtime from normal gross profit on these occasions)

Total hours worked per annum = 4,532.5.

At a minimum of £15,000 as mooted by Daniel Thwaites as their "tenant earnings floor" = £3.03 per hour. Even if you add back in the supposed benefits of living over the "shop", say at a very generous £10,000 per annum, this still only works out at £5.51.

Daniel Thwaites - National Minimum Wage is £6.08 per hour - and I can assure you that every publican in the country (and certainly in your tenanted estate) is worth more than minimum wage for their professional management of yours (and others') assets.

Try putting an earnings floor in of £45,000 - which is probably the amount your area managers earn - and you might get nearer the mark - especially when you consider the following, from their company report:

EBITDA (profit before tax etc) on 355 pubs, hotels and inns per outlet = £61,126 (so a nice earnings ratio to your "tenant earnings floor" of roughly 4:1)

£4.6 millions in "deferred tax" - down from last year's £6.1 millions though due to "tax loss" of £1.4 millions (very careless chaps!)

Now the juicy bit all you lucky Daniel Thwaites tenants on your £15,000 "earnings floor" :

 

The board paid themselves a very restrained £924,000 (as opposed to the £1,508,800 in 2011)

Highest (un-named) paid director received £345,000 - including £99,000 relocation expenses ... hmmm anyone want to "relocate" to his/her job? Can't see that anonymous director getting out of bed for more than 2.5 weeks per year at your "tenant earnings floor" rate.

Shareholders didn't do too well in 2012 either ... a loss per share of 13 pence ... nice one considering it was 8.6 pence the previous year! (Might you be questioning their remunerations this year?)

Stopped laughing yet? If you need a real laugh check out the self-serving bollocks from Daniel Thwaites when you click on the "Publican Awards 2012" button!

Come on Daniel Thwaites, get real ... if you're going to have a "floor" then make it one that is at least at minimum wage ... for a publican doing, say, 80 hours a week (sometimes a couple doing twice that) this would mean a minimum "tenant earnings floor" of £25,000 for a singleton and £50,000 for a couple ... you mean sods!

If not then keep your mean-spirited calculations to yourselves whilst you sit back and earn a fortune off the back of hard-pressed, hard-working tenants ... because we just don't want to listen to any more fat-cat bullshit ... we get enough of that from the numpties in Westminster and the crooks in The City.